This article was written by LMHC and Owner of Float On Counseling, Joel Schmidt. Float On Counseling provides a variety of therapy services to Tampa residents for in-person / online sessions - and Florida residents for online counseling. To start therapy with Joel Schmidt or a different counselor with the us, visit our "Contact Us" page on our website (www.floatoncounseling.com), click on the "contact us" button below, or call 813-515-9602.
There are these preconceived notions out there about the kind of couple that starts couples counseling. They’re the stereotypical high-conflict couple who are not getting along. Intimacy is gone, they fight, and they’re on the brink of divorce if they can’t figure this thing out. The couples counselor, we might assume, is there to help save the marriage. Although there are certainly a lot of couples out there like that, this narrow view of what couples therapy is sometimes prevents couples from starting therapy together. They might assume that because they’re already too checked out or not doing “bad enough” that couples work just doesn’t make sense. Because of these common misconceptions, I’m here to outline a broader view of what couples therapy can look like. Here are reasons for couples counseling that you might now expect.
Couples Therapy can be for Newer Serious Couples
New relationships can be hard. Merging lives, routines, and parts of ourselves with another complex human being can be….well…complex. In fact for many couples, earlier stages of the relationship are sometimes harder times than when well-established. Old stuff sometimes comes up in new relationships. We must learn how to do the “dance” in a dynamic and unique system that will look very different than any other relationship - even if similar in some ways. In newer relationships, we are learning how to communicate, how to balance independence with togetherness, working through insecurities in some cases, and figuring out how to manage “baggage” from past relationships. Couples therapy can be a good place to navigate many of those things even if the relationship is generally doing just fine.
Couples Counseling can be for Couples who are Ending their Relationship or Divorcing
Ending a relationship can be one of the most difficult things anyone can do. The best we can hope for, is for it to be done in a healthy and amicable way that allows both individuals in the relationship to transition to the next part of their life as smoothly as possible. When children are involved, it is especially important to get this right…and a couples counselor can help facilitate that.
Couples Counseling can help you Decide IF this can work
Referencing thoughts I mentioned earlier in this post about assuming counseling is to make relationships work, it’s sometimes more about figuring out if the relationship is something that CAN work for the long-term. We invest a lot of time, love, and energy into relationships - and oftentimes people feel good about doing everything they can to see if a relationship can work before walking away. The end of a relationship does not need to represent a failure and couples counseling can help couples figure out what they want or need to do, even if ultimately that means parting ways is the best thing they can both do for one another.
Couples Counseling can be for Great Relationships Struggling with Intimacy
A very common struggle for couples in long-term relationships is that of dwindling intimacy. I often work with individuals who are very much still in-love with their partners, but who find it challenging to find that intimate spark or who just aren’t sure why sex stopped happening. When the “honeymoon period” ends and when couples get caught up in the grind of life, sex and intimacy are often put on the backburner as a lower-level priority issue. Couples counselors specialized in this sort of thing are skilled in helping couples with lacking intimacy and can get to the bottom of what’s going on - as sometimes trouble in the bedroom can be due to deeper (but normal) issues such as desire discrepancy, insecurities, anxiety, or issues from the past that are sometimes hard to sort through or talk about without a little help.
Couples Therapy can be for Couples who are going through Major Transitions
Couples that thrive with routine can find themselves having a much harder time syncing up when going through big life changes, such as entering parenthood, transitioning careers, or moving - among many other life transitions we will often face throughout our lives. When big decisions need to be made or when the dynamics of a relationship will be changing - either in routine or value assessment - facilitated support can be of tremendous benefit.
Couples Therapy can be for couples who are Grieving a Loss
The loss of a loved one or a child can be incredibly profound and devastating and can sometimes really shake the foundation of a relationship. Imagined futures and everything that was once a part of our reality and the relationship is gone. Processing loss, what that means as a couple, and how each person in the relationship can accommodate and support what grief looks like to the other person are among a few of the things that might be addressed in couples therapy for grief. This untethering experience can sometimes find some grounding by working with a professional who can sort through the complexities and provide a space that might allow for some healing.
Family issues
Family “stuff” comes up in therapy all the time. Challenges with one another’s families, differing ideas about how to deal with certain family members, cultural clashes that might contribute to contrasting perspectives, and trouble with boundaries are just a few of the things that can cause issues within a relationship even when the relationship itself is solid. When family members outside of the relationship unit are contributing to problems inside of the relationship, a couples counselor can listen, share observations, facilitate mutual understandings, and help develop tools and a plan for how to navigate in the healthiest way possible.
Float On Counseling offers counseling to help with marriage and couples issues, anxiety, depression, trauma, neurodivergent issues, self esteem, low motivation, grief, and more. If you would like to schedule an appointment, please visit www.floatoncounseling.com/contact and click our "request appointment" button. You can also send us a message on our contact page, email counseling@floatoncounseling.com, or call 813-515-9602.