This blog was submitted and written by Joel Schmidt, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Owner of Float On Counseling. To start therapy sessions with Joel, please visit our "Contact Us" page.
I get how daunting the therapist search can be - and the last thing you want to find out after choosing a “therapist near me” is to find out that you’ve signed up for bad therapy. Here I’ll talk about what “bad therapy” is and how to avoid it.
To start, let me be clear on a couple of things. 1) Most therapists are great therapists, from my experience and 2) what one person considers bad therapy might be a great experience for someone else.
What is Bad Therapy?
Bad therapy might just be a bad fit. The quality of the relationship, the connection, and how well you click are among the highest predictors of how well therapy will go. This means even if you have a great therapist on paper (or one who is a great therapist to many other people), you might not have a great experience if the fit isn’t right for you.
Bad therapy might also be more egregiously bad - a therapist who’s more concerned about meeting their own needs than yours (making sessions more about them than you), a therapist with a poor sense of boundaries, or even worse (and extremely rare) one that takes advantage of the natural power differential in the therapist/client relationship - taking advantage of their role as helper and “expert” with people who are vulnerable.
Bad therapy might also come from a therapist with poor training, lack of adherence to confidentiality, insensitivity, judgment, answering texts or calls in session, seeming generally uninterested, or inconsistently being able to show up to sessions on time - or at all. We need therapists that are consistent, reliable, well-trained, and who work only with issues they know how to address. Good therapists know that a part of being a “good therapist” means modeling good relationships through their communication, ability to build & maintain trust, and being someone you can rely on. They’re human, yes, so they’ll make mistakes sometimes…but they’ll acknowledge those mistakes and always do the best they can for you and take your time seriously.
Although it’s not always possible to ensure a great therapy experience before you have started meeting with a therapist, there are things you can do to get real close to this certainty before you invest time, money, and energy into working on some difficult things. It’s not uncommon for people who have had bad experiences with therapy to leave with a bitter taste in their mouth and a long-term disregard for the profession.
So How do we Avoid Bad Therapy?
Avoiding bad therapy comes on the front-end: the process of selecting someone who you think might be a good fit for working with you.
Don’t skimp on the research
Take plenty of time to browse therapist directories like Psychology Today and Therapy Den. Read profiles, click on websites, and search google reviews where they are available. Reviews can sometimes be trickier with therapy than with other businesses since therapists are not allowed to ask client for reviews and because as you probably already know, the loudest folks are usually the unahappiest ones. Take reviews with a grain of salt, but certainly consider them. When reading what therapists have written, pay attention to what they’re saying. Are they speaking to you and your pain points? Do they talk about their approach, what types of things they are trained in, how they help, and what to expect when working with them? Like dating profiles, therapists usually try to put their best foot forward publicly, but the quality of how they are presenting themselves (either on their websites or directory listings) is important. It might be tempting to go with the first person you see or with the limited options you might be presented with in your insurance network, but therapists are not one-size-fits-all.
Set up Consultations!
When starting therapy with someone new I always make sure to schedule complimentary consultations. They last about 15-20 minutes and give me an opportunity to get a feel for whether or not I’ll be a good fit. This is also a great opportunity for clients to get a feel for whether or not I’m the right guy for them. Although you might find someone great quickly, don’t hesitate to meet with more than one therapist for a consultation…and make sure to ask questions!
Pay attention to the Initial Phases of Contact
If you were responsible for interviewing candidates for a position within your company, you’d be paying attention to them during the interview process. You’d pay attention to their phone etiquette, their communication style, their timeliness, and a broad range of other traits that might give you a good idea about how well they’ll do if they were to get started. It’s no different with therapy, except that in this case you’re hiring a therapist. If you’re seeing red flags in the initial stages of contact, you should probably pay attention to those red flags. Try not to feel so invested in the beginning stages of finding a therapist that you just give it a try when all signs have pointed to this being something that probably won’t work.
Consider asking People you know for Referrals
Does your family doctor, psychiatrist, or anyone in your network of family and friends have a therapist they might recommend? Being referred to someone means that the person referring you already trusts that therapist which can go a long way in terms of confidence. Just because someone has been recommended does not mean that they’ll be the therapist for YOU, but it’s a good start and worth looking into.
Don’t Select a Therapist on Financial Considerations alone
Whenever we are searching for a product or service, it’s tempting to find “deals”. Therapy is an area where finding a good deal is probably not the best strategy. Really, it should be more about the right service instead of the right price. Although budget will always be a consideration, it should really be more about finding the right person and the right service than finding the right price. Although it’s not a good idea to overextend yourself beyond what your budget will allow, it’s worth keeping in mind that investing in therapy can be one of the best things you can invest in for yourself, your relationships, and your future. If you have insurance and you want to use it (which you certainly should be able to do!), consider using out-of-network benefits if you have them to work with a therapist that YOU choose if you’re feeling limited with in-network options.
Joel Schmidt is a Licensed Mental Health Counselor in the State of Florida and the owner of Float On Counseling. Joel's main area of expertise is helping clients with anxiety disorders, he can also help individuals with a variety of services such as depression, motivation, problematic drinking, and more. To schedule your first appointment with Joel, you can click our "request appointment" button on our website by clicking here, email our Client Care Coordinator at counseling@floatoncounseling.com, or call 813-515-9602.