Fear of Flying Part 5: Turbulence Advice Most Anxious Flyers Never Hear

When I write about the fear of flying, I’m often quick to highlight the fact that most anxious fliers already rationally acknowledge how safe flying is. I talk about flight anxiety being less about the plane and more about the other conditions that flying presents, such as being out of control and in a situation they cannot easily escape once anxiety sets in. That said, turbulence does seem to be a pretty universal trigger for many, if not all, fearful fliers. As many times as they may have been reassured that it’s safe, it can be really uncomfortable and scary. Even when we know airplanes are built for this very normal and routine phenomenon, it can feel really unsafe and unsettling.

Unfortunately, even the most convincing reassurance from your most trusted pilots and aviation experts only goes so far. The answer often provided as to how to deal with turbulence usually lies in trying to convince you not to be afraid of it. This can only go so far in that, when it kicks in during the flight, the anxious brain still likes to jump to catastrophic conclusions. And trying to reason with this primitive part of our survival system, which was never designed to travel 600 mph at 30,000 feet in the air, does not work. We hold on tight, brace ourselves, and look to the expressions on other people’s faces to make sure that everything is okay.

There are approaches more effective in the long run than white-knuckling turbulence or trying to talk yourself into not being anxious about it. The answer lies in a technique I often speak to that involves reducing attempts to control and teaching your system through your behaviors, rather than through your thinking, that it is safe.

So what does that look like? Well, the next time you’re on a flight and turbulence, or rough air as the airlines often like to call it now, kicks in, you’re going to try softening into it. Try to let go of anything you might be latching onto, whether that be your armrest or the tension you might be holding in your body. Let yourself bounce with the movements of the aircraft and float with it. Allow yourself to be with whatever anxiety that might present itself until it passes on its own. Remind yourself that you are safe, even if you don’t exactly feel that way. The experience of turbulence and anxiety is temporary, and nothing needs to be done to try to fix it.

When we get anxious, whatever the situation may be, it often feels intuitive to listen to the alarm the brain has sounded. We react as though the threat is real, even when no true danger is present. Whether that’s bracing, tightening up, asking for help, distracting yourself, or reaching for anything you can think of to control the anxiety, we reinforce the anxious cycle and anxious response by responding in a way that is consistent with danger rather than safety.

A core evidence-based approach for dealing with anxiety involves desensitizing yourself to anxiety triggers by behaving differently. When we consistently respond to anxiety by acting safely, even when it does not feel that way, we reinforce a message of safety to the body and brain. We essentially tell our anxiety that we see it, but that we are not going to play its little game and act like something is wrong when it isn’t. This not only helps as a consistent practice over time, but can even reduce the intensity of anxiety in the moment because we aren’t feeding into it.

So then, how do we deal with the accompanying thoughts? The intrusive thoughts and images. The catastrophic “what if” questions.

We first have to acknowledge that this is our brain trying to protect us. We evolved for survival, which means the brain often likes to present us with scenarios that we may need to plan for in order to keep us safe. The problem with that part of our brain is that it doesn’t often do well with predicting risk, and it errs on the side of safety by flooding us with more than we need to protect ourselves.

We have to be able to see that for what it is and practice simply noticing and labeling those thoughts as “anxious thoughts” or “intrusive thoughts.” That might look like thanking your mind for trying to keep you safe, recognizing they are just thoughts, and simply trying to redirect your attention elsewhere, perhaps to a magazine, an in-flight movie, or a journal.

Keep in mind that the purpose of this redirection should not be to try to make the anxiety go away, but to be mindful that we can engage in other things that we value or enjoy even if we are a little (or a lot) anxious. It might not be easy at first, and don’t expect the anxiety to disappear, but consistent practice can go a long way.

On the topic of flight anxiety, there’s a lot more I have to say and putting it all together might help you best understand how to better cope. Check out the resources on our fear of flying program page for more blog posts and info on the 47-page fear of flying workbook I created called “Willing to Fly”. 

If fear of turbulence or flying anxiety has been limiting your life, know that it is something that can be treated. You don’t have to keep white-knuckling every flight or avoiding travel altogether. As a licensed therapist who specializes in anxiety disorders, panic, phobias, and fear of flying, I work with people to help them better understand their anxiety, respond to it differently, and build lasting confidence in the air. If you’d like to explore whether we’re a good fit, I’d be happy to offer a free consultation. Just click on the button below to view my schedule.