A Letter to My Clients: What to Expect When We Start Working with a Fear of Flying

You’re here either because you recently decided to start work with me or because it’s something you are considering. If you’re dealing with flight anxiety—either avoiding flying altogether or white-knuckling your way through flights—you’re probably ready for relief. Ready to get over this thing so you can get on with doing the things that are truly important to you in life. And you’re also probably anxiously waiting to see how this all might work, what to expect, and how long it might take to get to a place where you can fly comfortably.

Here, I’ll speak to what to expect along with general timelines. Rest assured you’ve landed in a good spot. It’s hard to know where to start and who to work with on this sort of thing. Although a layperson might assume that any licensed therapist can work with a fear of flying, it’s simply not true. Clinical skill sets, specialties, and experience levels vary wildly in this field. Some therapists are generalists, and others are experts in specific types of issues and presenting problems. When it comes to disordered anxiety, panic attacks, and specific fears, fear of flying is my thing.

What you’ll get when working with me is someone who has been there personally when it comes to figuring out how to work with anxiety, someone who has spent years helping people learn to fly with less fear, and a frequent flier who finds airplanes to be one of the most relaxing places to be.

What to Expect When Getting Started

The first session will be primarily focused on information gathering with a bit of education. I’ll ask questions to better understand your fear of flying and explain how this process works.

We will explore your history around this fear, other situations that bring up anxiety for you, your triggers, and your goals for the process. Spoiler alert: the fear of flying is often less about the airplane and more about a loss of control, fear of being in an enclosed space that one cannot easily flee, and fear of how you will react on the plane.

I’ll also explain the approaches that will be used, which are primarily rooted in the evidence-based methods of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP). We’ll discuss how this process is more about changing your relationship with anxiety (becoming less reactive to and less afraid of it) than it is about eliminating anxiety altogether. Although overcoming a fear of flying completely is possible, we’ll make sure expectations are realistic. A critical part of that is understanding that we often don’t “get over” our fears before we take action, but instead build confidence through action along the way.

You’ll learn about anxiety, how it works, and what’s happening at a physiological level when panic kicks in. Understanding what’s happening in your body can make anxiety feel less threatening even when it does occur.

You’ll receive a copy of Willing to Fly, the workbook I created to supplement our therapeutic work.

What to Expect Out of the Process

From there, we’ll start preparing the groundwork for your next flight. You’ll learn more about anxiety and start developing skills for how to be with it differently than you have before. We’ll explore thinking patterns and ways to manage anxious or unhelpful thoughts. You’ll learn how to react when anxiety starts to rise and discover some of the ways you may have unknowingly fueled the anxious cycle. We’ll develop exercises you can work on between sessions to start feeling more prepared.

Although there is no quick fix and no way to eliminate anxiety without being willing to experience some of it, it’s reasonable to expect that you’ll feel more confident and equipped to fly before your next takeoff.

Your Role in the Process

It’s important to understand that this will be an active process for you. There are no shortcuts and no magical cures. It will involve learning, doing the work, and facing some hard things. Be wary of any product, service, or coach that claims it can eliminate your fear of flying—or any anxiety—by avoiding discomfort altogether.

Another key element in your role is “willingness.” I titled the workbook Willing to Fly because openness and willingness are crucial. Willingness to show up, willingness to learn, willingness to react to anxiety differently, willingness to do some of the work and exercises between sessions, and willingness to do hard things before you feel 100 percent ready—all of this is essential to making progress.

How Long It Takes

Although every person is different, the average amount of time I work with clients on this type of issue is 8–12 sessions. My approach is solution-focused and to-the-point, with the goal of helping you get to where you would like to be as quickly as possible. This means the more regularly we meet, the quicker progress can occur. I recommend weekly sessions for at least the first few weeks to build a foundation and gain traction.

The length of this work can vary based on several factors, including how often we meet, how much time you have between sessions to practice what we discuss, your readiness and willingness to engage in the process, and the overall intensity of your anxiety—both generally and around flying. Some clients are able to apply the tools and move forward confidently after only a few weeks, while others with more complex or longstanding anxiety may need additional time. Personality, distress tolerance, anxiety history, and commitment to the process all play important roles in shaping the timeline.

One Last Thing Before We Begin

Helping people work on their fear of flying is something I love deeply for many reasons. Not only is treatment highly effective using this approach, but it can truly help open up people’s world. Anxiety aims to dictate our actions, limit our experiences, and shrink our lives. I’m confident that with dedication to the process, you can get back to doing the things most important to you more confidently, whether anxiety shows up along the way or not.

How to Get in Touch

If we are already scheduled to meet, I look forward to getting started! If you’re interested in learning more or would like to schedule an appointment, you can hit the “Request Appointment” button on this page to see my schedule and book a complimentary consultation. I find it important to meet briefly first to ensure appropriate fit and to answer any questions you might have.

Joel Schmidt, MA, Licensed Mental Health Counselor and Florida Qualified Supervisor